Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(ii) p

 

PM Trumble has launched a second assault on Central NSW under his banner “know one loves me better than me”.  Trumble is having another crack at the Gettysbush address, misquoting some old poetry and disturbing some soil microbes.  He’s upped his offer to the bush from 3 bales of hay per farm to 300 in a naked display of hay barrelling. 

Trumble hopes this will distract punters from Big Julie’s Caesar rehearsals at the back of Tone Rabbott’s game show headquarters  These have gone down a treat with the inner circle of News raptors who always get a front pew.

Reports are trickling in that ancestors of new Senator Taser Gunning knew a thing or two about scrub clearing involving large light pink bearded men, guns, germs and steel.  Turns out the Gunnings were paid up members of the Nation Building White Spats Brigade founded by Lord Spatchcock Frowner’s ancestor Big Daddy Frowner.

The brigade was active in several States and was notorious for occasional ‘misunderstandings’ with local people who strayed into the wrong place at the wrong time as station leases were being handed out to large light pink bearded men.

In breaking sporting news the Australian Floppys have again demonstrated the disappearing art of 40 minute rugby.  In a brilliant display of 40 minute acrobatics the Floppys won 6-5. Unfortunately the 80 minute format preferred for well over 100 years continues to befuddle the team who clock off for a ciggy and a nap after 40.  

Floppy Rugby executives are troubled by the phenomenon, wondering whether they should seek a 50% refund on forward and back investments.

Breaking World News (summary):

Suspended due to platforms melting in the excessive heat…of a commie conspiracy.