Other News Yesterday - Installment 2(vi) Special Budget-in- Reply edition

 

After skipping through the day whistling the 1812 Overture PM ‘Aspiratus’ Bill Longhop rose in the House last night to deliver his epistle to all, accompanied by string and vocal ensemble.  He painted a picture of a land awash with fairness, decency and trees, a land of packed lunches for all, free of ball tampering and cancer.   

It was a stirring display of wanton hope and future proofing against wind chill, geared negativity and credit imputation by those given the wink on when to bet on the dodgy horse race.  Caps on good cheer will be removed and the cheer redistributed more evenly, and those usually confined to the outermost circles of benefit will receive a hamper this year.

The Junta benches glowered in response, suggesting cancer must be managed as a public benefit and geared negativity remains the key to maintenance of the rich and ‘aspirational’.   Some cried out ‘the end of days’ and some fled the chamber to get their property brokers on the line.  It was a pitiful spectacle of loss and self-pity.  Members of the Safe Seats Society stayed in their seats, looking stony faced, and wondering why they bothered roasting and salting their pigs.

  

One of Longhop’s most telling forays into soaring hope was an acknowledgement that climate exists and that the kiddies expect something done about the endless summer.  It was stirring stuff to hear ‘Aspiratus’ Bill paint a picture of flowing streams, whirring windmills and battery storage made in Australia.  As the burghers sharpen their bats and flex their ropes in readiness for polling day it is apparent that salted lemming will be on the menu in the House dining room for several years to come.

 

As the country waits for collective relief and the sound of a large gun starting the husting stakes, news broke of human rights stalwart Senator Taser Gunning starting  his own party.  Everyone is invited along to sing the Horst Wessel song whilst practicing dismantling and assembling automatic rifles blindfolded.  The party is set to go for a week by which time authorities are expected to act and close the whole show down on national security grounds.