Other News Yesterday - Installment 4(i) Post Apocalyptic Election Issues

 

 

After months of soul-searching, gonad wrangling, and eye watering tedium in the wash-up to the most under whelming universal franchise exercise in living memory, Alterego is back with the latest takes on President Scomite and the new and better junta, complete with China agency accoutrements, more denial of climate existence and grand plans for recession.

 

 

 

As part of a welfare led recovery Scomite and crew are planning to distill illegal drugs from the urine of Newstart recipients and sell it on the black market.   On-selling the 'welfare' contraband presents a range of potential legal pitfalls, logistical and accounting challenges, but Treasurer Friedalot and Minister Muster Cormorant tell anyone who will listen that they "have got this".

 

Enthusiasm for a polly cop unit has waned in the wash-up as Ministers for Abject Trough Diving are worried folk might get the wrong idea about naked disregard for laws in the rush to please junta supporters, immediate relatives and other associate members of the Safe Seats Society in the issuing of licenses and public grants. 

 

 

PM Scomite is again travelling the land to hold prayer meetings to break the drought.  Having previously exhausted supplies of goats to quell the volcano gods, Scomite’s acolytes have turned to the heavens for hope and a sign they are still the chosen ones.  The prayer meetings are subsidized by tax payers of course, including certified cloud seeder, Pentecostal rapper, 8 piece band, hymn books and prayer leader per diem plus meal and hardship allowances.

 

 Minister for Changing the Climate has announced that burghers should not expect any action on the climate maelstrom engulfing the planet as there is some doubt about the science, and thoughts and prayers should suffice.  He is encouraging burghers in safe seats to sink carbon by burying cattle en masse and planting palm oil trees on clear felled land as remedial measures.