Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(ii) leadership spill special edition

PM Trumble has ordered a full winter retreat from the whole notion of ‘climate’.  Fearful of small gatherings of  ‘deniers’ with sharp knives Trumble has hit reverse and was last seen skidding backwards down the corridor slicing madly at ghostly apparitions of spills past.   

Staffers have tried to calm the PM with a seven per cent solution and tales from the Bon Lowbrow ‘Lazarus’ crypt but to no avail. 

Raptors are on full spill alert with prizes on offer for any sightings of the Tone Rabbott game show cranking up or black shirted members of the highly secretive Sturmbannführer Spudster society moving toward the PM’s chambers.

Meanwhile in a secluded area of the Parliament retiring Minister for Gratuitous Cruelty Dutto is welcoming acolytes with a framed picture of himself as ‘the Leader’.   

Refusing to countenance any nay saying by advisers aware of recent national polls on preferred LNP leaders that had him just ahead of a dressed pineapple on 4%, Dutto sat resplendent in black on a large chair, accepting acolyte kisses of his ring.

Leadership aspirants outside the Dutto inner circle have been exchanging offers of qualified fealty and mutual promises not to audit Parliamentary allowance acquittals.  Numbers are tight and insiders expect the spill area will require industrial cleaners at some stage.   

Bill Longhop has been remarkably calm throughout proceedings and was heard to be whistling the 1812 Overture during his morning ablutions.   

Another raptor thought he heard Bill doing an impression of Dirty Harry, “do I feel lucky…well do ya punk?”.