Installment 1(ii) c

PM Trumble told gathered media raptors that his Government had ‘wintered well’ and was planning a Spring assault on Bill Longhop. Amidst reports of banks behaving badly, gambling agencies recruiting kiddies in pre-school and Tone Rabbott’s game show going on the road, Trumble is quietly upbeat about his prospects of killing Bill in an ambush somewhere between Indooroopilly and Wangaratta.

 

Labor States have called out PM Trumble and Minister for Energizing Friedalot on the failure to convince sceptics on their own side that climate exists at all. “And, you know, when it comes to hot days there’s no such thing as climate”, one backbencher was overheard to say, “…there are individual events and there are droughts. And no government can do anything except through God’s help, and people must look after themselves first.” 

Bastion of the Institute of Private Advertising Mina Stoneheart announced she was establishing a Chair of Non-linear Climate Science at the University of Alternative Reality.  “We have to combat fake climate research”, Stoneheart told raptors, “with a peer reviewed body of science that understands coal, loves coal and is totally beholden to the digging of coal”.

Breaking World News (summary):

 

Pope Frank has decided to oppose the death penalty.  Countries who kill masses of their citizenry each year are mounting a challenge to this change to the universal catechism.  Previously it was ok for non-believers and dodgy penitents to be cast down into the slavering jaws of hell’s demons.  Pharmaceutical giants in the US are especially keen for a return to this dictum…

Jim Packmann has confirmed he’s transferring a large slice of his assets to Israel. A chain of casinos from the West Bank to Gaza is planned to take everyone’s mind off the relegation of all non-Jewish Israelis to 2^nd class citizens.

Grabber-in-Chief is touting a great result for Republicans at the up-coming mid terms.  “There are so many great things happening I don’t know where to start”, the Grabber told raptors, “from a big new wall to putting enemies of the people in their place”.