Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(ii) r

Brand spanking new PM Scomite has announced his brand spanking new ministry. Raptors noticed a remarkable resemblance to the old ministry with the addition of several who deny climate exists and a couple who make their own.  The PM is heading to central Queensland where staffers have corralled a few voters who were able to identify Scomite from his earlier ‘on water’ pronouncements or lack thereof. 

Product differentiation is on everyone’s lips within cooee of the new PM who loves a jingle.  He often says “do you chew on coal?” and “where the bloody hell are you?” without expecting an answer. It seems party elders are wondering much the same…

New polls have confirmed what everyone except a few knife wielding idiots competing in the hunger games last week already knew:   punters think they decide who leads them and when that leader should be changed.  Old heads in the ruling junta are ruminating over whether to tattoo this dictum on the forehead of all incumbents.

The Tone Rabbott game show has been quiet for three days, leaving observers to speculate whether a special event is being prepared by or for the host.  Some have suggested a bike marathon across the Pacific would be the ticket or perhaps a seat on board the next Voyager expedition. Watch this space…

Ex PM Trumble has left the site of last week’s bloodbath to take the waters, heal the wounds and consider future cloud seeding investments.  When he heard Tone Rabbott’s sister was thinking of taking up the heavy mantle of Emir of Eastern Sydney he offered to provide the names of his printer and personal cloud seeders to anyone prepared to puncture her tyres…

Breaking World News (summary):

Zimbabwe’s Honcho elect Palmer Mygangwon will keep up the gaudy sash tradition of the country’s one previous ruler.  He’s promised to lift the ban on unscheduled street singing and release songsters from prison who struggled with the chorus he wrote for them.

Indonesia authorities are getting ready to welcome Australia’s new Honcho with a tour of their human rights commission, anti terrorism HQ and ISIS retraining camps to make him feel at home.  On water matters and refoulement strategies once run by PM Scomite have played no small part in keeping these guys in work.

A lone wolf light pink guy has settled scores in Florida on losing several rounds of an eSports tournament.  Local authorities denied the incident had anything to do with it being as easy to get a gun as an all day sucker.  “He just misunderstood the play”, explained a spokesperson, “it’s easy to confuse your repeat action Glock with the game shooter”.