Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(iii) h

 

 

Across Australia audible sighs of relief have been heard at the pronouncement, ‘It’s ok to be light pink’! Parties have broken out spontaneously as people learned the motion moved by Perilous Pantson, supported by a plucky crew of junta has-beens, failed by three votes in the Senate. It was a stand out moment in the full spectrum of low lights that have marked the Parliamentary year.  Veteran raptors can’t remember when the quality of debate in the upper chamber has reached such depths as to make the low water mark in the loos look positively brimming.

The KKK and various light pink supremacist groups have offered their unmitigated congratulations to Pantson and her stalwarts in the ruling junta. “Wish our Senate guys would grow some kahunas”, tweeted the KKK honcho, “it must be great to live in a country unashamed of its light pink heritage…those communists that voted against this should be round up and deported”.

Meanwhile PM Scomite has thrown his considerable weight behind relocating Australia’s embassy in Israel to Jerusalem.  This fantastic news is being celebrated in ISIS camps around the planet and will be featured in recruitment drives to attract young angry sociopaths to the cause.   

Other voices are saying “Why the bloody hell did you?” and “Can we have a bloody election?”, but naysayers have no impact on the PM who takes his messaging straight from the Grabber-in-Chief’s twitter account. Indonesia has indicated the latest trade deal is looking as bleak as the junta’s future…

Breaking World News (summary):

The House of Saud has acknowledged that a journalist being turned slowly on a roasting spit in Riyadh was turned once too often.  Authorities are insisting it was a case of mistaken identity as said journalist was mistaken for a goat that wandered in off the street in Istanbul.

The Grabber has shared his concerns over the unfortunate murder of a US citizen by what appears to be rogue roasters.  “We try to get targeted roasts right in our part of the world”, tweeted the Grabber, ‘but I can understand how you can get it wrong when everyone’s wearing a sheet”.