Installment 1(ii) a

Finance Minister Muster Cormorant came out today accusing big end tax cut naysayers of being economic girlie men and man girls.  He was quickly shuffled off through a side door by anxious staffers…one was heard to yell “get his meds”.

Health Minister Ernst Funt was spruiking the ‘our health’ initiative and denying claims that personal details could ever…ever… ever be used inappropriately to assist with future reallocation.  “I realize people are nervous about sharing personal information with Government”, Funt told raptors, “let me assure you national security will never ever take precedence over your right to know”. Raptors present scratched their heads….

From her cruise ship One Country leader Perilous Pantson sent a message of commiseration to her candidates at recent by-elections, criticising the party for inadequate displays of cardboard cut-outs of herself:  “You can’t hope to win with anything less than one hundred per booth”, she ordered, “but I think we passed the audition”.

Breaking World News (summary):

Close confidante of Grabber-in-Chief Paul Castlemann denied his tax rorts assisted the boss with a few minor accounting issues:  “We ran a tight ship and I plead the 5^th”.

Reports the Swedish crown jewel thieves escaped via the sewers are incorrect, police sources advised. “They water skied behind a jet boat”, Chief Superintendant Lars Watermark told raptors, “waving to tourists on the foreshore”.

The Grabber has hit out at GOP mainstays the Grouch brothers.  “Those boys should have stuck to stand-up”, yelled the Grabber, “I was making them great again but now they can kiss my arse”.