Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(ii) leadership special edition

 

Against a backdrop of Parliament being abolished the nation waits with bated breath the outcome of Big Julie’s Caesar opening show.   

PM Trumble has decided the knives look way too sharp for his liking.  Two combatants - Dutto and Scomite - will duel to gather up the spoils, redistribute the 30 pieces of silver and get the wine back in the water vats. The main adversaries will fight to the death under gladiatorial rules…

 

Amidst overwhelming feedback that anyone but Spud would suffice Liberal members are involved in a chain tag wrestling display that has drawn a crowd of raptors and nervous staffers.  The losers of bouts are expected to be sent to the guillotine on grounds of being on the wrong side at the wrong time. The Queen’s emissary is on standby to confirm executions as advice filters through.  

PM Trumble has addressed raptors, explaining the order of play, the extraordinary achievements of his rule and his plans to return to warmer climes under a more favourable tax regime.   

He said that ruling was the greatest sacrifice of his life and that the hoi polloi can kiss his regal behind as he never gave tuppence for them in the first place…watch this space.