Other News Yesterday - Installment 3(i) Special Hustings edition
As the election bash up reaches fever
pitch burghers have been sighted running for the exits and voting early. PM Scomite rolls from one BBQ to the next,
kicking babies and petting balls at every opportunity. Raptors report suffering heartburn watching
the spectacle of a leader spinning furiously in the vain hope that whatever vipers
are pursuing him won’t get their fangs in.
As Junta heavyweights contact Canberra property vendors
and a paper shredders job lot makes its way to Junta offices, the burghers wait
impatiently for the furore to desist; circus masks stowed, touring buses returned
to depot, posters burned and chopping blocks ready.
The intensity of community feeling
generated by a series of stellar candidates forced to ritually disembowel in
public has been an attractive supplement to the daily round of hate speech and
targeted abuse. Raptors have had to
interrupt there constant screaming at disingenuous answers from our nation’s competing
dissemblers to gasp at the naked display of entrails revealed by a series of One
Country and Junta wannabees.
The work of
Reeve ‘Smoking Aces’ Dicksup in snipping off the lower intestine as be bowed
out in abject disgrace was a thing to behold and one for the kiddies.
Notorious gannet and electoral recidivist
Clive of Toad Castle has spent a fortune telling the punters that only his
particular brand of cane toad oil will cure self-inflicted dropsy, and that his
elevation to power will guarantee water shedding and coal loading forever. The punters are enlivened by the prospect of
returning Clive to a large sump on the edge of an old coal pit so he can see
out his days in perfect harmony with his surrounds.
In a reprise of old news, and as the
country waits for collective relief and the sound of a large gun ending the hustings
stakes, human rights stalwart Senator Taser Gunning started his own party. Everyone was invited along to sing the Horst
Wessel song whilst practicing dismantling and assembling automatic rifles
blindfolded. The party was set to go for
a week by which time authorities acted to close the whole show down on national
security grounds.
