Other News Yesterday - Installment 1(iii) b
The ruling junta kicked off the new
Parliamentary term with a party meeting rumoured to be a rollicking affair. PM Able Scomite led the troops in a suite of songs,
including “I’m Not There”, “Men of Harlech” - with the lyrics “stop your
dreaming, can’t you see their spear points gleaming” especially poignant – and “Time
to Kiss Your Arse Goodbye” sung as a round, and “Don’t Cry for me Capricornia”.
Taking to their new Scomite descriptor, the Muppet Show was full of voice and
enthusiasm with many determined to make the most of their last dives in the
trough. After the sing-along “one for none, and none for all” could be heard echoing
down the corridor, followed by three cheers for Rabbott & Dutto for showing
the way that someone had to pay. Reports
the real “Muppets” are suing have emerged…
An exciting day in Parliament was
capped by Spud Dutto renditions of “I shall not be moved” and “The Boxer”. Some in the gallery were moved to tears at “I am just a poor boy
though my story's seldom told; I have squandered my
resistance for a pocket full of mumbles…and not nearly enough
gold”. The burghers of Dickson have
different takes on the lyric but one thing’s for sure; they mostly want their
money back.
Ex PM Trumble is taking the sun in downtown Manhattan,
before flying to the Cayman Islands to
re-structure his portfolio. He put a
curse on his colleagues, suggesting their prayers for rain are wasted because big
Daddy always favoured him and their treachery will come at a savage cost. The candidates to replace him as Emir of
Eastern Sydney are starting to despair at the size of the repair, with
insufficient cloud seeding and no available printing firms anywhere.
Breaking World News (summary):
The Grabber-in-Chief has cancelled his subscription to the
ICC. “My guys are always innocent”,
tweeted the Grabber, “we are rulers of the planet and we go everywhere, with
right guiding us and no atrocities anywhere”.
North Korean Honcho Kim Jing-in has
not been put off by poor sales of his previous song duo with the Grabber. All his citizens bought the release and it
gets played on national radio. They now plan
to cut another at a place to be determined by each other. A band is getting ready with a massive choir;
with an expectation sales will be so much higher.
China has denied reports thousands of people kneeling with a gun to
their head had anything to worry about. “It’s to help them understand the
nature of things”, explained a spokesperson, “we don’t really kill them; we just
relocate them to a proletariat heaven in another dimension”.
