Installment 1 (ii) e

 

 

In the heart of rural NSW PM Trumble made an announcement set to rival the Gettysburg Address, waxing poetic about the state of the weather.  Carefully avoiding mention of the climate and carbon sinks, Trumble promised low interest loans fixed at 2.5% for everyone within cooee of the announcement, while gathered farmers and their cattle kicked off a chorus of lament for the pittance on offer.

Deputy PM Mick McNotim is touring WA on a 'study tour' just days behind his predecessor Barnabbas Joust.  Joust told a thousand farmers that the baked alive sheep industry was in Mick's safe hands, with new commercial vistas opening up during the next heatwave. “We’re going to save energy and money”, crowed Joust, “by using renewable sunbeams to prepare the meat en route to destination…that’s sustainable agriculture”.

Breaking World News (summary):

 

Venezuelan President Madpeso survived a drone attack whilst attending a military parade. “This is the foul work of the Grabber’s agents”, fumed a Presidential spokesperson, “may all his drones turn into Pterodactyls and attack their padrone”.

In a cry for help Melanie Grabber has invited James LeBronster to the White House for tea and to discuss child separations and the importance of racial differentials.  “That boy’s as dumb as a post”, tweeted the Grabber, “these kids in cages will be the stars of the future”.    

The European heatwave continues to wreak havoc on citizenry, with reports that a new thing is pinching gold nose rings and fillings that melt when people are asleep outdoors.  A lucrative pawn business has taken off selling melted gold at knock down rates.