Installment 1 (ii) g

Appearing on Q & A Minister for Drought Don Proudlite denied the big dry could be connected with climate.  “There’s really no such thing”, answered the Minister, “there’s individual weather events and when they combine it’s a drought”.  As he was speaking scientists in Arizona reported human induced global meltdown is about a tick away from setting off a cascading climactic climate hothouse.  In keeping with recent appointments Proudlite is considered a Monty to be in charge of the Climactic Hothouse Ministry.

Sky News has been forced to suspend all radical reactionary presenters after dark in an attempt to win back viewers appalled by wanton broadcasting of Nazi drinking songs and orchestrated calls for a new Reich.  Extended weather shows and vaudeville acts will fill the slots vacated until new presenters can be found.

With the total population of Australia one person away from being just under that of Delhi, demographers suggest some thought be given to accommodating all those Indians heading our way.  “We’re going to need more curry houses, chilli gardens and sandalwood orchards”, explained a local expert “if India can manage over 25 million in one city you’d think a whole continent would be perfect”.  

Breaking World News (summary):

A new peace agreement in South Sudan is expected to last at least a fortnight.  A local commentator suggested universal franchise in China was more likely than the new peace treaty surviving longer than a few months, enough time for all the parties to rearm and get at it again.

A new movement has sprung up to encourage human extinction. Founder and spokesperson Lester Knightfall says that everything would be better with fewer humans. “Huge savings on bullets, paternity suits and nappy laundry are some of the obvious benefits”, explained Knightfall, “along with a boon for rubber producers everywhere”.

A US Court has been told Grabber-in-Chief confidante Paul Castlemann is a complete crook.  His one time business partner Dick Dates gave evidence that he and Paul went on a crime spree that made Al Capone look like twinkle toes at the fair.  The Grabber tweeted “they are both good men made in America”.